Something More
by violetfires
Summary: Natalia finally realized what she wanted. This was crossposted to Livejournal in the Passion Perfect community, under my username of violetxfires. Reviews always appreciated.


She had fallen asleep easily; a fabulous dinner plus a warm bed plus Natalia next to her had that effect on Olivia. The sleep itself had been easy as well, so it was a surprise to her to be awakened by a thump from downstairs. Another thump, and she sat up in bed, shoving her feet into slippers and glancing over her shoulder. Natalia's side of the bed was rumpled, but empty; Olivia ran her hand over the sheets to find them cold. She looked at the clock. "4 a.m.," she muttered. "What the hell, Natalia?"

She padded out into the hallway and peeked into Emma's room; her daughter was out like a light. Olivia grinned; she'd have to remember to let Natalia play Twister with Emma more often – especially since her version of the game with Olivia was just as fun.

Making her way to the door leading into the living room, she soon realized what had caused the thumping noise. Now that both Olivia and Emma were moved back into the farmhouse, Natalia had gone nuts with what she called "spring cleaning," but Olivia felt it was more like "tearing the house apart and shifting things around." Boxes were scattered around on the floor, and Natalia knelt in the midst of them, alternately talking and humming to herself. Olivia smiled, watching her. Even in an old, rumpled bathrobe, with her hair haphazardly framing her face, Natalia couldn't have been more beautiful. She would take something out of a box, replace it, and toss the box somewhere else with a satisfying _whump_ before opening another and starting the whole process over.

Just as Olivia opened her mouth to greet her lover, Natalia suddenly stilled; the humming stopped abruptly. She reached into the box, and Olivia's heart dropped as yards of white silk came into view.

_Natalia's wedding dress._

She remembered how it had looked on her; how Natalia's eyes had shone above the creamy, delicate fabric. The snowflakes had blown like silver onto her hair as she stood in the gazebo, her eyes full of tears. And Olivia's heart, _Gus_'s heart, beating wildly inside her chest, fighting the very love that threatened to overwhelm her.

"It was supposed to have been the best day of your life," Olivia said quietly.

Natalia looked over her shoulder and smiled. "It was the best day of my life."

"But how?" she gestured with her hands, confused.

"Do you remember that day at the hotel when you asked me if I ever wanted more?"

Olivia winced. How could she forget that? _Room 329 needs some towels; why don't you get going? It's __**what you know**__._ Tired and faint and angry, she'd walked away from Natalia without even a second glance.

"It wasn't a shining moment in my life, that's for sure."

"Growing up," Natalia said slowly, reaching in to the box and pulling out the dainty tiara she had worn, "I always knew what I would do, what my family wanted me to do. Finish school, find a husband, have the boy and girl, raise the family, grow old with grandbabies. Then… I got pregnant with Rafe." She smiled, a little sadly, her finger tracing the outline of the tiara.

"Natalia--"

"But still, I knew what I had to do. Quit school and get a job to give my son a life. So that's what I did, and I didn't know how to do anything else. I didn't want to do anything else. Then I met you."

Olivia sat down on the couch in front of Natalia and the mess of boxes. "And I screwed everything up."

Natalia shook her head and moved so that she was kneeling at Olivia's feet, her cheek resting on her knee. Olivia stroked her hair. "All my life, I've always thought about what other people needed, wanted. What my parents wanted, what Rafe needed… I never thought about what _I_ needed or wanted."

"You were a mother. You do what you have to do; there's no shame in that."

"Oh, I was never ashamed, you know that. But even with Rafe older, and gone, I was still ready to be the maid, or, if not that, the housewife."

Olivia swallowed hard past the lump in her throat. "Frank."

"Frank," Natalia confirmed. "The epitome of security, family, life. Everything I wanted." She toyed with the tiara in her hands, then held it up to Olivia.

"You put this on my head that morning. This crown of the princess, of the wife, about to marry such a wonderful, kind, secure man… "

"So what changed?" Olivia was barely able to ask. The guilt was almost too much for her to bear, and tears rushed to her eyes.

Natalia glanced up and stared at her, then reached a hand to brush at Olivia's cheek.

"I wanted more."

"More?" she whispered.

"Standing there in the church, listening to those words… I was about to be joined to someone, not just in our eyes or the people that were there, but in God's. That's… that's big." Natalia laughed, then grew serious again. "But I knew I was lying, not just to myself and Frank, and you, but also to God. All I could hear was your voice, telling me that you were in love with me." Natalia smiled, and nuzzled Olivia's knee.

"But you still could have married him," Olivia said, the weight only slightly lifting from her shoulders.

"Oh, I could have," Natalia agreed. "And been happy, or, happy enough, at least. I'd have had a home, Rafe would have had a father…"

Olivia dipped her head. "You gave all that up."

"Olivia Spencer, do you always think only of what people lose? What about what they _gain_, what _I've_ gained?"

"Maybe it's hard for me to see myself, this feeble life I can offer you, as a gain."

With the tiara still in her hands, Natalia maneuvered herself into Olivia's lap, snuggling against her and sighing. "If I had married Frank," she said gently, "Despite all the security, despite all the reasons why I knew I should love him, it would be your voice I would hear when he spoke to me. When he made love to me, I knew it would be your face I would see. I would always want you in bed next to me, in my life beside me."

Olivia said nothing, only hugged Natalia tighter to her.

"So you see… the answer is yes. For one time in my life, standing with you in a gazebo in the snow… Natalia Rivera wanted more. I wanted you."

Olivia cupped Natalia's face to kiss her, long and slow and sweet. When they separated, she asked softly, "So you don't regret anything?"

Natalia considered this. "I regret hurting Frank," she said finally. "I regret hurting the Coopers; I regret confusing Rafe. But have I ever regretted you? This?" She shook her head vehemently. "Never. _Never_." She looked at the tiara in her hands and grinned a little. "I do kind of regret not having a beautiful wedding, though." She laughed at Olivia. "I guess I've still got some of the princess in me."

Olivia hesitated, then took the tiara from her, settling it onto her soft brown hair, tucking the wayward strands behind her ears. Natalia smiled and kissed Olivia's palms. Olivia sat back and looked at her. God, she was gorgeous.

"Marry me."

Natalia giggled. "Okay, sure."

But Olivia's expression was serious. "Natalia… marry me. I can't give you what Frank could have, we know that." Natalia started to speak, but she placed a finger over her lips, silencing her. "But I can give you a wedding fit for a princess. Marry me, Natalia," she repeated. "In front of our friends, in front of our family, in front of…" Olivia took a deep breath. "In front of God."

Natalia's mouth dropped open as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Olivia…" she breathed.

"Marry me, Natalia." Her fingers closed around Natalia's, squeezing them gently.

Natalia struggled to maintain her composure, and simply nodded, burying her face into Olivia's neck. "Yes," she mumbled, sniffling. "A hundred times, yes."

Olivia's heart leapt and she snuggled Natalia even closer to her, breathing in her scent and nearly drowning in her warmth, until her lover's heaviness told of deep sleep. Smiling to herself, Olivia closed her eyes.

Four hours later, Emma crept down the stairs and, catching sight of the two women curled into each other on the couch, rolled her eyes. Thirty minutes after that, Rafe found her in the kitchen, surrounded by three different kinds of cereal and four different kinds of juice.

"Uh, what's up, munchkin?" he said to Emma, his eyebrow raised. "Where's Olivia and Ma?"

Emma jerked her head towards the living room. "On the couch," she said around a mouthful of breakfast.

"They fell asleep being romantic again."


End file.
